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Welcome
Greetings, and welcome to the Ale-Fan Blog which hopefully will be of interest to more than just beer drinkers.
I welcome your comments, feedback, photos and suggested links to web-sites etc. Please feel free to contact me.
The Blog:
What is a blog ?
Grain Of Truth Publications presents:
Diary of an Ale-Fan
Philosophy from the bar, on life, the universe and everything. Ale-fuelled words of wisdom and benign bigotry - fun for all the family !
Defying convention, I produce my blog in ascending order. That’s the kind of crazy guy I am !
To read the latest entry, click here.
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March & April 2005
LATEST ENTRY: Fifteen Minutes
Tuesday, 15th March 2005
Worried
I think I'm getting fed up with going into pubs !
Could it be my age ?
Could it be that with virtually full employment around here they can't get the staff ?
Thus resulting in bored half-wits and societies wasters working in hostelries.
We went into two pubs over the weekend (one for a meal) and we were treated as if we were minor irritants. It
was nice change to go into Pizza Express last night and be treated as though our custom mattered.
I don't care for most American 'culture' but we can certainly learn something from them with regard to service in restaurants and bars.
That's one piece of Americanisation I shall welcome over here !
Have a nice day.
Sunday, 20th March 2005
Teaching Granny To Suck Eggs
This week's website statistics bring with it the usual crop of weirdness:
This report lists which queries people used in search engines to find the site.
blog suffolk
veggie pubs
anny rames
halls poseidon methodists zagreb ottomanize
suppository purchase
bury blog
monarch ketchup where made
real ale names
tony robinson brew master
andrew gillighan
why would bath cold tap stop working
brewery screensaver
vegetarian pubs surrey
home made alco pops
citie of yorke
origin of chocolate horlicks
camera real ale
hemmingway look alike
st julian of antioch
bugger dog screensaver
cross to bear western holiday
syg net org
penis euphemisms
workers real ale
norwich bitter
yates and fishing bbc4
exmoor ales
real ale oxford
lady drink piss
how to drink beer
How to drink beer. Surely nobody needs instructions on how to do that.
You just open your cake-hole and pour it in.
Monday, 21st March 2005
Useful ?
Friday, 25th March 2005
April Fool
I never did geography at school, I couldn't find the classroom.
Where the fuck is Kyrgyzstan ?
Is it the first of April ?
Has the BBC made it up ?
Had you've ever heard of it before it was mentioned on the news ?
It sounds like a cobbled together name. A country named by a committee. If it was part of the former USSR then perhaps it was.
But a capital called 'Bishkek'. Come on !
Kyrgyzstan definitely sounds as if it has been made up like those countries in The Man From Uncle and Mission Impossible.
They were always going to countries called Maldrovania (or something like that). I suspect they made up names because they were paranoid about starting world war three.
For all they knew there probably is a country called Maldrovania - And it'll probably be in the news next week.
Watch this space.
Sunday, 27th March 2005
Sex, Sex, Sex and more Sex
They're at it all night.
Sex
Where do they get the stamina ?
Sex
They make such a lot of noise.
Sex
Hammer and tongs.
Sex
Anybody would think that it was going out of fashion.
Ribbit.
The frogs in our pond are making babies. Spring is in the air. The bullfrogs are looking pretty pleased with themselves, although I understand it's not quite
so pleasurable for the lady frogs. Some apparently die. And what happens to the male frogs that don't win a mate.
Do frogs masturbate ?
Who can say ?
A shagged out frog
Sunday, 3rd April 2005
Advertisement
After I almost burnt down our kitchen, and causing our next-door neighbour some great concern, just trying to make some toast, we decided to purchase a new toaster.
And here it is:
The Tefal Avanti Deluxe - a retro monster in our kitchen.
The good thing about this toaster is that it has dual controls (i suspect not a new innovation, but it is to us). That means that me and the Lady can each toast the toast we like at the same time.
The Lady prefers her toast to be most un-toast-like, i.e. a warm slice of bread. Whereas I much prefer my toast to be toast (bordering on charcol). Like my pants, black and crunchy !
And what to put on our toast ?
Something we're addicted to.
Real-ale Marmalade - the most fun you can have with your clothes on !
 Look what marmalade
Thursday, 7th April 2005
Dr Bram Stoker I Presume
The NHS safe in this man's hands ?
As safe as the economy would be, me thinks.
What ever you do please don't vote Tory.
That's as positive as I can be I'm afraid !
Saturday, 9th April 2005
Euthanasia
I wouldn't want to wish unemployment on anybody.
But why support lame ducks ?
CAMRA's recent campaign to try and save the Boddingtons Brewery bemused me totally. I think I'd rather drink horse-piss than Boddingtons. It's muck !
So what's the point of saving it ?
The campaign for real-ale seems to have become the campaign for all real-ale regardless of quality.
Now the government seem to want to save Rover. Why ?
Rover have never produced a decent car. Even the copies they made of Hondas were not a patch on the genuine article. Rover should have been put down years ago.
Is it me ?
Sorry, but I feel better for that.
Latest
Tuesday, 19th April 2005
Fifteen Minutes
"I read the news today, oh boy..."
One of our local brewers, Bartrams, has brewed three variations of a bitter, and stuck labels on the bottles with effigies of the three main party leaders on them.
We decided to sell them in our shop, and thought it would be a jolly good wheeze to conduct an opinion poll based on the sales of these beers. So did the local media; two local papers, one local radio station and local TV.
Form an orderly queue for autographs please !
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