I found this story quite intriguing. An Indonesian film containing a scene featuring a blow-job, and one with a gay kiss has become a box office success. For an Islamic country this is possibly quite a breakthrough. I don't expect it will do much on its own, to forward the cause for the liberalisation of human rights, in the eyes of religious zealots (be they Christian, Jewish, Moslem or any other of the many religions), but "every little helps" as they say.
If you’re squeamish, read no further!
For my sins, I work for an American-owned group of companies, in an oft forgotten outpost of the 52nd state.
Occasionally amongst my e-mail I get this sort of crap, passed on by my English boss, which I’m sure is intended to motivate, but of course has the opposite effect:
"
-----Original Message-----
From: My Boss (UK)
Sent: 00 December 2003 17:05
To: Me & Others in UK
Subject: FW: Customer X Visit to Our US Company W
Fantastic......
-----Original Message-----
From: Head Fat Cat (USA)
Sent: 00 December 2003 13:52
To: ** Sales Leadership Team
Subject: FW: Customer X Visit to Our US Company W
Thanks A .. this is exactly how they deserve to be treated ... and may this be the low point in the relationship! .. It would be interesting to ask our team members today how they felt?
-----Original Message-----
From: Creeparse, A
Sent: Thursday, December 00, 2003 6:50 AM
To: Head Fat Cat (USA); Lackey, A (USA); Lackey, B
Cc: Others
Subject: Customer X Visit to Our US Company W
Tom, Dick and Harry,
Good morning!
Yesterday we had a visit from Customer X to review and finalize the purchase of (2) N******** G*****/R*** W*****s ($*,***,000+)
The WWW Customer Relationship Covenant committee orchestrated a fantastic welcome reception.
N*** I****** and his team organized a "donut reception" upon the customers arrival.
They set up a table in the assembly area of the plant and had plenty of donuts on hand.
They invited everyone is the plant to "welcome" S** H****** and K** D****** to Our US Company W and "thank" them for their order.
Things went great.
As K** and S** walked down the stairs to the assembly floor, they were announced on the PA system.
The WWW team members were assembled by the stairs and applauded them.
The CRC committee had a banner above the donut table that said "Thank You Customer X".
Numerous employees approached K** and S** to say "thanks".
After the donut reception, K** and S** received a welcome packet from the CRC committee.
The packet had all the business cards of everyone they need to contact (finance, engineering, manufacturing, etc.). They were organized in a binder with a thank you letter from Medium US Boss.
K** and S** made several remarks about the warm welcome they received.
K**: "this is great" "no other vendor has ever done anything close to this" S**: "I need to tell Culturé (French manufacture of machines) how nice it is to come to Our US Company W"
K** and S** feel great about working with Our US Company W.
"
I’ve got to find another way to earn a living !
Sunday, 4th January 2004
Axe Victim
Comments and a recent entry on the What You Can Get Away With blog discussed the claim of some Australian to the British throne.
Having watched the very interesting Channel 4 programme by Tony Robinson, I now understand the argument a bit clearer. The “Australian” is in fact an English Lord descended from the Plantagenets
Anyway, in the comments section of What You Can Get Away With they went on to discuss the fact that since the 1701 Act of Succession the choice of monarch has been the sole prerogative of parliament.
If this is the case, I have a suggestion for when Queenie cops her whack. Could I suggest that MPs elect the next monarch on a 10-year lease ?
Bugger Charles (oops !), we could have someone, with some intelligence.
Any suggestions ?
Tony Benn, Ken Livinstone or Billy Bragg spring to mind. Judi Dench or Glenda Jackson would also play the part well.
In my dreams:
It would create a president in all but name. It would retain the monarchy (keeping the head-in-sand/reactionary/tory/countryside-alliance/fascists happy), yet create a republic by stealth. A win-win situation !
Fucking marvellous.
What do you say ?
Hello, is there anybody out there ?
Monday, 5th January 2004
Like an Old Blues
The conversation turned to television programmes of our childhood, last night
in the Hammer & Sickle.
Of course someone just had to say, "they don't make them like they used
to !".
Me and Nobby both admitted to liking Whirly Birds, but I think we got away with it.
Predictably, Albert piped up with, "Muffin The Mule", making indecent gestures as he did so. They were a sort of Les Dawson on Viagra affair.
I worry about Albert sometimes, although he is very agile for a man of his physique.
We all agreed that Andy Pandy and the Woodentops were the visual equivalent of horse-shit.
Baz and Daz, who had both been looking somewhat bemused, and not saying a great deal, became very enthusiastic when Nobby mentioned Bill and Ben. They broke into a lengthy 'Flobber lob' conversation. Which, incidentally, made a lot more sense than what they normally have to say.
I wasn't over-keen on Blue Peter, but as I've always had the hots for
Valerie Singleton, I used to watch it. Valerie, like a fine wine, has
improved with age.
Someone, I forget who, mentioned Crackerjack. I was almost deafened by the
Pavlovian response, “CRACKERJACK !”
Yesterday's blog entry probably needs some explaining ("not just yesterday's", I hear you cry).
I was in a hurry though yesterday.
Like quite a number of bloggers I'm sure, I have an unfulfilled creative streak in me.
"I've suffered for my art, now it's your turn".
The .jpeg above is a cassette cover of a tape put out by a Swiss label in 1985, featuring two bands: 'Svatsox' and the infamous and mighty 'Ex'. The illustration on the cover is by me. It wasn't done specifically for the tape, it was just one from a series of drawings I did in the early Eighties.
I think I still have the originals somewhere.
Anyway, I was reminded of the fact that I had this cassette by a recent entry on the Perspective blog, about an 'Ex' gig. Thanks Alister, by the way, for the mention today (Fellows Morton & Clayton Ltd, Nottingham looks like a great pub).
I managed to track the tape down a couple of days ago so I thought I'd put it on my blog and amaze the world.
The reason why I was in a hurry.
Meeting a friend down the pub for an evening's drinking. Drinking Greene King Mild. Always delicious when kept/served well.
There was a group of about half a dozen also in the lounge, as we sat there minding our own business. One of them leant to one side and in our general direction said, "Excuse me gents, you don't by any chance fancy joining a Morris dancing side, do you ?"
Was it that we looked like connoisseurs of cask conditioned ale ?
Was it the fact that we both have beards ?
Had they sensed that we both like folk music (despite that fact that neither of us were wearing woolly jumpers) ?
Who can say ?
Anyway a long discussion followed, mainly with them extolling the virtues of Morris dancing. I asked if they had a pig's bladder on a stick amongst their 'equipment'. Unfortunately, as it turns out, they do not, alas.
I am tempted, I must admit. I need the exercise and I am free most Wednesday evenings.
It's evenly balanced - we'll see what next Wednesday brings !
Watch this space.
Sunday, 11th January 2004
Do You Dream In Colour ?
This story appeared on The Publican website on Friday:
"Licensees who fill empty bottles of Heinz ketchup with other brands are to face investigation by the ketchup cops."
Has the world gone mad ?
Don't they know it's called tomato sauce ?
Ketchup my arse !
Monday, 12th January 2004
Out Of Touch
Is my comment facility working ?
I understand from Steve @ Occupied Country that there are problems with it.
Is anyone else having problems ?
If you are you can contact me @: me(at)ale-fan.co.uk I'd appreciate any feedback.
(changing (at) for @ in my e-mail address)
I'm wondering if I should switch from Enetation. Anybody recommend a
reliable and free comments system ?
I did start writing my own, but I really can't be arsed with it at the moment.
Adventures in a Yorkshire Landscape
I know they talk funny, and can't really brew beer, but is that any reason to bomb Yorkshire ?
Wednesday, 14th January 2003
Art/Empire/Industry
Now we know why Tony really went to war:
"Scotland's wafers of mass distraction
SCOTLAND is about to play a crucial role in rebuilding post-war Iraq - by
exporting one of its most celebrated products, Tunnock's caramel wafers."
I just love Tunnock's.
A Scottish delicacy.
The most fun you can have with your clothes on !
Banal
Sometimes, for comic effect, one has a habit of making rash statements. The
flippant remark is something I've been handicapped with for a large part of
my life.
Like any sane person I do not subscribe to racism.
I like to think it's acceptable to challenge certain groups in society along
the lines that perhaps Alexi Sayle would, and not the way Jim Davidson does.
Anyway my paranoia has got the better of me, and rather than use Enetation,
(thanks to those who responded to my question about comments systems by the
way) I thought I'd reply to a couple of comments as a blog entry.
Having known someone who worked for 'American Intelligence'. Who on more than
one occasion was chastised for sending planes in totally the wrong
direction. Plus when you consider the instances of so called friendly fire
inflicted by the bully that is the US military. I am therefore sure that the
instance of the 'bombing' in Yorkshire by the USAF is not the first and
probably not the last of this type of cock-ups. The scare the shit out of us as we're only 10/15 miles along the flightpath.
The sooner the occupying
forces leave these islands the better !
This brings me on to the subject of brewing and Yorkshire. The generic term
'Yorkshire bitter' is to ale what Carling et al are to Pilsner Beer.
'Yorkshire bitter' brewed by various breweries (and not always in the
county) tends to be unpalatably bitter, but otherwise, characterless swill. A
sort of 'Sun reader' of the ale world. There is the odd good brew that
emanates from Yorkshire, Theakstons for a start,
but compared with the UK's brewing capital, god's own county of Suffolk,
it's nothing special. They also serve beer with a head on it up there, a
crime on a par with sheep buggery.
One of my favourite breweries, is a craft one called Lidstones, which I
understand has recently moved from Suffolk to Yorkshire. I like to think of
the move as missionary work !
Thursday, 15th January 2004
For Young Moderns
As promised in last week's blog, I said I would report on my decision of whether or not I would go Morris Dancing.
Last night I gave in to temptation (which is always good) and went !
I had no real idea as to what I was doing, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
All being well I shall be going back next week for more.
Today I have been mostly making no sense what-so-ever.
Bugger !
That's all I have to say today.
Monday, 19th January 2004
Music In Dreamland
Saturday afternoon, we had a jolly good time visiting the beer shop.
Me and my mate were like two kids in a sweet-shop - wonderful !
I bought 23 or 24 different sorts of beers. Half from the UK, the rest from Belgium, Germany and 'Down Under'.
First up, this one from Scotland:
Grozet
Lagered Celtic Ale – 5%
Not sure if it’s an ale or a Pilsner style beer, but it certainly looks like a Pilsner.
It contains gooseberries, bogmyrtle and meadowsweet as well as the usual ingredients.
A light golden colour, a slight smell of gooseberries, not to gaseous, nice creamy bubbles. Initially there is a smooth gooseberry taste sensation, followed by a bitter secondary taste.
An ideal beer for cheese or curry. Probably best drunk on a hot summer’s day.
The days of me using Enetation as a comments system are numbered !
I've decided to switch at the turn of the month. There is only so much you can take !
"Drinks company Refresh UK has laid the foundations for the new Brakspear brewery." According to this news item on The Publican site yesterday.
I like old posters don't you ?
Sunday, 25th January 2004
Make The Music Magic
This week I’ve been mostly listening to music.
Good to hear Kate Rusby being played on daytime radio. I’ve been a fan of her's since her first album, and have seen her play live on many an occasion – on her own, with her band, and when she was in The Poozies. If you’re not familiar with her work check her out.
Not ‘alf !
Purchased three CDs in Tesco the other night. Three for £16.00 (in total):
Flamming Lips - Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots
David Bowie – Heathen
Dandy Warhols – Welcome To The Monkey House
Not bad I reckon !
The most fun that you can have with your clothes on, at the moment, is listening to Hey Ya! by Outkast.
I’m going to have to buy it.
Cracking video as well. Anyone that wears green satin jodhpurs is okay in my book.
They are to the green satin jockey outfit what Cameo were to the cherry red codpiece.
On this day in 1886, Wilhelm Furtwängler (German conductor) was born.
Bet you always wanted to know that !
Tuesday, 27th January 2004
The World And His Wife
Does anyone know where Master of the House has gone ?
If you're out there Fred, hope things are okay.
I'm looking forward to going to the Cambridge Winter Beer Festival this coming weekend. Life is always better when you have a beer festival to go to !
On a not-quite-so recent posting on the 'uk.food+drink.real-ale' newsgroup, someone had suggested that they were keeping an ageing bottle of a strong imperial stout to drink, by way of celebration, on the death of Thatcher.
Personally I think that we should get a day off when the old cow finally sods off down below. A day off to celebrate. I for one plan to get well and truly pissed.
How do you plan to celebrate the death of the Iron Witch ?
Given how our governments (what ever the shade; light blue or dark blue), prefer our bank holidays to be attached to a weekend, perhaps she should be strung up on the next available Friday or Monday ? *
Big dilemma for Sun Readers of course.
* P.S. I don't really support capital punishment. Just joshing !
I like the idea of Saga Louts, which was why I was pleased to find this blog.
The blog's called Supermum. Supermum hasn't revealed if she pulls her knickers over her trousers or not, and if she does, whether it's down to tradition or just a phase she's going through.
We need to be told.J
Good News:
"German unveils anti-ageing beer It must be every drinker's dream and it has now become a reality, at least if you believe the manufacturer."
I'm prepared to give it a try !
Wednesday, 28th January 2004
It snowed today !
Forbidden Lovers
Foot fetishism what's that all about then ?
Feet are knobbly, smelly, unattractive, functional, smelly things.
They are often adorned with blisters, bunions or corns. Yuck !
I don't think I could get a hard-on looking at (or God forbid touching) a pair of size 9s.
We need to stamp out such disgusting behaviour !
Busty substances yes, but tootsies, definitely not.
Orgasmic ? Ghostly ?
Thursday, 29th January 2004
The Gold At The End Of My Rainbow
Ale not ice-cream !
One thing that's guaranteed to get a good debate going within the real ale
fraternity is the subject of whether or not ale should be served with or
without a head.
In a strictly Stalinist approach to this subject I refuse to listen to the
arguments in favour of ice-cream on top of ale and consider anyone
advocating this senseless notion to be a heretic and should be swiftly
banished to the nearest gulag.
When I go into a pub I want a full pint of ale, not 90% ale and 10% froth.
Surely if you want froth you'd drink nitro-keg.
As far as I'm concerned compromise is not an issue on this subject.
Once upon a time East Anglian was a froth free zone, but sadly with the advent of pub chains and pubs being staffed by spotty herberts (and herbertesses), who probably all drink alcopops, there is a tendency to serve it in this distasteful way here now.
Is nothing sacred ?
Friday, 30th January 2004
The Bird Charmers Destiny
Good to see that Bob Ross won his case against those cheapskate-wank-monkeys** Ryanair.
The bastards** charged him extra for a wheelchair because he was unable to walk to the check-in desk.
Remember this the next time you travel within Europe.
Discrimination is an evil thing and does need to be stamped out where ever it manifests itself.
** denotes: purely a personal opinion (and not intended to besmirch the good name of the above mentioned company)
Latest
Saturday, 31st January 2004
Life In Reverse
It's pissing with rain. Bugger !
But hey our old mate (sods) has just played Bert Weedon on the radio, and I'm off to a beer festival.
Bury St Edmunds now has a folk club. Sadly it's one with a format on traditional lines. So you have to put up with local 'performers'.
One of them turned out to be a local micro-brewer. He didn't sing, just played guitar, and he wasn't too bad. His guitar playing was definetely alot better than his beer.
The real star was England's greatest squeeze-box player John Kirkpatrick, and damned fine he was to.
It was a good evening. Got a bit of a headache this morning. Never mind, a bit of fresh air and a few beers should cure it !
This month and a bit of last month my blog titles have all been taken from song titles by a William. Next month I plan to use titles by a different William, a William I'm going to see in concert (again).
