ARCHIVE - OCTOBER 2005

Sunday, 30th October 2005

The clocks going back reminds me of when, in my usual dogmatic way, I occasionally proclaim that "there is no such thing as time !". This often is met with very strange looks. It would seem most people are incapable of abstract thought.

Time, like shit, happens. It's a way of us measuring our 'progress'. But it doesn't actually exist. You can't bottle it. You can't replicate it. You can't distil it into essence of time. And you can't reverse it.

My theory of time is not really based on scientific fact, just logic, and gut reaction. Now I know that that old geezer Einstein had something to say about time, and how at great speed it slowed down, and I'm sure he was right. But I don't believe that once events have happened, that they are stored up, so that you can dip into them again, i.e. travel in time.

If time travel were possible we'd have had visits from the future already. If you could travel back in time, one way or another, it would be possible to prevent yourself being born, or you could murder yourself. So if you prevented your birth, or you murdered yourself, then you wouldn't be alive in the future to come back and perpetrate the afore mentioned dastardly deeds.

Phew !

I think I need a lie down now.

Tomorrow - How to split the atom using Dettol and a wire brush.

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"Exercise!! I never heard that he used any: he might, for aught I know, walk to the alehouse; but I believe he was always carried home again."

Dr Samuel Johnson

The IPA was a lot better in the Rising Sun tonight !

Found this on the interweb and just had to share it with you

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I can't even begin to imagine how horrific war is, and I hope I never experience it, but why should it stop me wanting an end to war ?

I'm grateful to those who fought fascism in WWII, but I'm certainly not grateful to those who've fought, supposedly, on my behalf in wars since 1945. Cancer and Aids charities raise money to both care for sufferers and either fund or campaign for better treatments and eventual cures, so why shouldn't the British Legion both care for ex-service personnel and campaign to put an end to new casualties ?

It's immoral for them not to do so.

I make no apologies for repeating an entry from exactly two years ago:

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Through my contacts with small brewers, I know a number of them are suffering, because it is getter harder for them to get their beer into pubs. There are a number of reasons for this. The two main reasons are the rise of the international brewer and the rise of the pub chain (be they owned by large regional breweries or pubcos).

We’ll take the second group first. Pub chains. There are very few true ‘Free Houses’ these days. The vast majority of pubs are, either owned by breweries (who insist on their own beer being stocked exclusively or predominantly in them), or Pubcos (large pub chains that buy and sometimes sell on price).

The first group, International brewers, discount heavily to drive out the competition from supplying pub chains and ‘free houses’.

Where does this leave the smaller brewer ?

Buggered basically, unless they have their own tied estate, and/or they are prepared to discount heavily (i.e. sell their beer for virtually no profit or a loss), or can sell through alternative channels.

The ‘Free House’ is rapidly becoming extinct. Soon after that will follow the demise of a lot of smaller breweries. And it’s only a matter of time before whoever now owns the name re-launches Watney’s Red Barrel.

Enjoy your pint while you can !

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I suppose 'yesterday's papers' = history ?

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Don't you just think that anyone that uses their mobile with one of those silly 'bluetooth'/wireless earpiece thingies looks a complete pillock ?

Walking around with a plastic knob-end wrapped around your lughole is the metaphorical equivalent to masturbating in public.

I was having a coffee with someone today that revels in owning the latest fashion gadgets. He wears one of the said plastic knob-ends. We were chatting away, sipping our coffee, when there was a noise to his right. We look round. As we do so, the ear-piece parts company with his lughole, and nose-dives perfectly into the steaming hot liquid. I laughed 'til I shat. He got very irritated. The irritation grew when he discovered it worked no more. Coffee and electronics don't mix. I laughed again.

Shouldn't laugh really I suppose, as it's cruel to mocha the afflicted.

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Monday, 17th October 2005

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I suppose the same can be said about most beers, but when Greene King IPA is kept and served well it's a bloody fantastic pint, but when it's not, it's not worth bothering with. On Friday night I had a pint of IPA that was so mediocre that it was verging on the point of Boddingtons/John Smiths. And the Rising Sun used to be such a good pub. Good grief, it was less than half a mile from the brewery, you'd think you could get a decent pint of the stuff in Bury St Edmunds. Not so it would seem.

Tonight I was luckier. The beer at the Old Cannon Brewery doesn't have to travel far at all, it's brewed on the premises.
Fantastic beer !
There is a God after all.

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Shoes are a different kettle of fish all together. But many days, it’s not unusual for me to be dressed, from head to toe (shoes excluded, as previously indicated) with the same brand of clothing.

I consider myself to be normal size – i.e. 6’1", slim (-ish, fighting the onset of middle-age spread), 33" inside leg and arms to match. Trouble is a lot of shops only seem to sell clothes for the deformed. So for all my adult life I’ve shopped for clothes mainly at Marks & Sparks. Not always the most groovy, it has to be said, but not bogget* enough to stop you blending into a crowd. Plus they are guaranteed to fit perfectly and to be comfortable. The shopping experience is usually quite pleasant as well, if that’s not an oxymoron, even though the men’s department in our local store is in very close proximity to the ladies underwear department. One is forced to avert one’s eyes, as you ascend on the escalator, and the lingerie looms large.

Their food selection is also good again, especially for us vegetarians. I recommend the Greek Meza.

So being a bit of a fan of M&S it’s nice to see that they are hopefully on the up again. Purely selfish of course ,as where else would I be able to go to get my pants ?

And at my age I’m not sure I could cope with going commando.

When you are fifty comfort is everything !

*bogget – a word me and my sisters coined in our childhood to describe unfashionable, frumpy and downright hideous clothing. The sort of clothing equivalent of a Renault.

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Love Soup 5

Supernova 0

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Monday, 10th October 2005

Why is it that those from the oppressing classes, that had the misfortune to be educated at public school, where amongst other things had any trace of a regional accent knocked out of them, will insist in speaking too loud ?

I presume it's down to all the in breeding !

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Sunday, 9th October 2005

One thing that has certainly been confirmed since we've had the shop is that no matter how bad things get, there is always someone worse off than yourself. We see these sad specimens walking up and down in front of the shop, and sometimes they come in. It's recognition of this that keeps us going.

As I'm sure it has not escaped your notice, the retail trade is going through quite a slough of despond at the moment. And our little shop is suffering along with so many others. But are we downhearted ?

No because we have a 'Plan B'.

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